Another Place to Play

What it really takes

2007-12-20T18:49:00.000+08:00

“Inspired” by the happy notion of friends hooking up and those getting married, it was one of those fabulous November Christmas-y mornings that I filed another dream under the “Prelude to the Rest of Your Life” folder.

If these serve an absolute prophetic purpose, I’d be the first to rush to Baclaran, and sing medleys of utter hope in hopelessness to wooden and porcelain saints, already addled with enough heartache and tragedy than they would like to see in their lifetime.

I think I was older at that time, and I was going on my daily business: delegating research project matters, and spewing out acronyms I presently know nothing about. I could hear the words “targets” and “CSS”, which are persistent benchmarks in the company I’m currently part of.

Looking on my laptop, by the admirable persistence of technology, I got a YM balloon from someone I apparently am absolutely in love with – I recall that warm fuzzy frog-in-throat feeling, though it was not accompanied by any face I am currently familiar with.

Apparently, he’s going to a conference in the US for work, and he was wondering if I could take a break and accompany him. I giddily typed out a reverberating YES! without even a glance at my calendar.

That was who he was already in my organizer status – a definite Green Light whenever, wherever.

Fast forward to Buena Park, California, where that piece of heaven called Knott's Merry Farm is. I have always wanted to go there since it opened, and we headed out as soon as we landed. While driving the hatchback rent-a-car, he would always haughtily comment, “I have work, I’ll be very busy after this and I don’t know when we can go out again.”

He then took me to this urban playground, where all the Snoopy and Charlie Brown concrete mammoths were. As usual, Snoopy was lazing on top of his red wooden house, and Charlie Brown was looking at him, his right index finger planted squarely on his chin, as if pondering how his pet can be so blasé about everything.

Staring at Linus’ 4-foot manifestation of his security blanket, the man I was with (he was hot and nerdy by the way) abruptly said, “I’ll be getting drinks, you want any?” and retreated to the crowd.

I know he was wearing glasses, because he kept removing them in the hot sun to wipe the unrelenting deposit of dust as he was walking away.

A good 20 minutes have passed, and still no sign of him bringing me a that red-blooded soda (shameless self promotion). I was already asking the other tourists and park personnel, when a big orb of foam and string blocked my view of virtually anything.

It was Charlie Brown (particularly his head that obscured the eye-scorching sun), and he was tapping me on the shoulder. As I began to ask if he has seen this man and then proceed to describe his dust-wiping ways, this Charlie Brown mascot gave me a bone.

Ah, not that kind of bone. It was made of plastic and had a clip-top opening.

As I opened this mysterious biological specimen, I discovered it contained a miniscule black velvet box. Sensing it may be a trick (as Americans exhibit extraordinary gusto in setting you up on camera), I looked at Charlie Brown, who was know bending on one knee, and struggling to remove his fabric head.

After a few seconds of wrestling with this fabric mush, Charlie brown is revealed to be the man I was looking for, the one who was cranky and haughty all the time going there, the one whose shoulder I drooled on when sleeping on the plane, the one who asked me if I would be willing to take a break from work.

With his left arm crooked over the mascot head and his right fuzzy hand now holding my left hand, Charlie Brown just asked me to marry him.

Amidst smiles and AWWWs from my friends and my mother upon returning home, I find out that he has been setting this up for months already and asking them all what would be the most ideal places where to take me to get engaged.

I think Sting sang at our wedding – a common element in my “Happily Ever After” folder.

-----

Why are great guys, specifically the hot and nerdy ones, already in relationships or are already married to equally fabulous female counterparts?

This has been a day of pagmamanyak from older colleagues in the morning of the team building session, but has been worth it when I, with much reckless suavity, sat beside Dante for the afternoon sessions.

We had a massage warm-up. I loved it when he guided my fingers to his temple.

That sounded really naughty.

Then he held my sweaty number-bruised hands and listened to me for at least 20 minutes. He cried because he was thankful for his life, contributed to by a wife who already did all of his Christmas shopping and wrapping.

Look at that appreciation. Made me sad that he was married, as communicated by that silver band on his left ring finger, which I conveniently chose to ignore since I started here.

He loved his wife dearly and married her at 25.

Hey, that’s my age now!

And yeah, he can carry on wearing brown corduroy pants. Hot and nerdy. Yummm.

During dinner, he sang that awesomely heartbreaking ballad “Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang?” That really was the final kick in the face.

I finally decided to retire for the night, and ask if God will send me a similar package (unmarried, but with equally significant hot to nerdy ratio, of course) in 2008.

-----

Happy Christmas, everyone! =) Here's to a fabulous 2008.

The Pink Cube Farm

2007-08-05T21:43:00.000+08:00

You turned this old a couple of weeks ago, and I greeted you first before all of them even knew.

I wish we could go out, watch HPOTP (Harry does look like you), have dinner, but we can't.

I wish you said thanks when I gave you that muffin.

The Worry

2007-03-29T13:02:00.000+08:00

Thanks, JP. =)

-----

hmmm...i really dont know if what youre feeling is normal or not at all. you are the better judge of it.

but working on the same parameters as you presented, at 28 i pretty know myself that well to tell whether what im going through is just a phase or its altogether the signs of moving on or an imminent crossroad...

not that im saying you dont know youself that much - im sure you have at least an inklling how your mind/heart - even hormones work and take effect on your whole persona - including work and relationships w/ friends and family.

at 24 (at the least working from my own experience) i would say that you're just, indeed, too tied up with just so little...type A people usually go through this phase so often that their general balance is under question - this is the quarter life syndrome...don't worry - you're not the only person who went through it...

my best take on your feelings right now - take the upcoming long vacation a very seroius thought...go ponder on these things...dont do it now. its taking a toll on your work...at least away from work, you'll have a clearer mind....

from your pop, i think your issues are too mixed...you have work, you have studies, you have lif ein general...tackle one aspect at a time....start with the life in general....what makes you happy and what will make you stay in this workd the best...your answers in that aspect will give you indications of how to answer the bits and pieces of your life like work....remember kat that work is not your life...its just a means to somehow earn a living to enjoy the rest of your time or even to keep you busy if you dont have anything else better to do....but work doesnt have to be not enjoyable at all....

studies (and your growth) is altogether a different story too....if i would have my way, studies is the more important thing over work.....it keeps you growing faster than work can ever do....

there goes my piece (at least heed some of it as im pretty much older and more experienced than you)...but at the end of the day, its still your battle kat....people around you may say all sort of things or events around you may dictate your actions - but in the end, you're still the captain of your ship....be the best captain because your the only captain...and your compass is God. (taray nun ah!!!!)

Leave the pretty coño crowd alone, alright?

2007-03-16T18:16:00.000+08:00

It's been months since my last update and, suffice to say, a lot has indeed happened. A friend gains a fiance, while another loses a mother. Some gain professional boosts, while others lose faith. Others now settle in their dorm rooms to study, while others work abroad.

In the grand scheme of things, life is still good, and that's a great thing indeed.

So True Funny How It Seems =)

2006-12-07T18:03:00.001+08:00

Knowing

2006-11-08T22:49:00.000+08:00

I talked to your childhood friend the other day. He told me stories about you guys going to that place in Harrison Plaza to see your idol when you were in your Ateneo grade school uniforms. You wanted to have him sign your comics.

I know you now. You're no longer an ideology, a construct, a myth.

Now I know who you are when you part your hair to look at me when I go past. =)

Critical Theory via Stationary Bicycling

2006-11-05T18:30:00.000+08:00

Being the perpetual absentee gym-nast (an interesting twist on the mainstream wording, and is simply defined as a person who goes to the gym), I have decided to cram a month and a half's worth of sessions into 3 hours of unprecedented sweating and flexing of my almost retiring gluteus maximus.

Thank God for lifetime memberships.

I had my survival pack ready containing my wallet, bulk of keys, water, hanky, and my trusty iPod, and slung its straps on the left bar handle of the stationary cycle.

As my feet pounded away to start the imaginary journey to the other end of physical utopia, words, nay, critical theory began piping from my earbuds.

To the Apple team that invented Podcasts, I owe thee the 5 pounds I lost last week.

This was the main difficulty I always pointed out during exercising: It's pretty damn boring. You're doing nothing but mindlessly lift/ push/ pull/ dance to almost anything.

In addition, it's ultimately gross. Imagine sweating, and hearing everyone else sweating. To quote a teammate, "Ma-ugly!"

Basically, podcasts are free (yes, FREE) audio books piped through iTunes, Apple's proprietary software. However, there are other pod-catcher softwares, which you can readily get at sites like tucows.net or podcastalley.com.

With the myriad of possible media wherein one can learn, it seems inescapable that one will learn some notion or concept of anything per day. Imagine the constant evolution/de-evolution of the constructs of the printed word, sounds, visuals, bytes, or any other fashionable manner of conducting information.

Oftentimes information can be tweaked beyond the point at which it would normally exhibit a change in form, but without actually triggering the change in content. Hearing topics ranging from critical discussions on Stanley Kubrick films such as 2001: Space Odyssey and Lolita to hot topics in astronomy and physics, to building a definition for narrative illustration, considering it as an artform, not a genre, and its corresponding methods of analysis is quite the treat.

On the other hand, considering this situation, I don't think meaning is lost nor changed, as these are designed to entertain via the straightforward spewing out of "data" (apologies for the cold-hearted term, but it is just that) due to its informative and "I'm going to be such a smart-ass after hearing this" nature.

However, listening to Prison Break while you're on the bike is entirely something else. As I currently have the hots for Wentworth Miller, it doesn't absolutely help that your sweat glands are further thrust into overdrive with his sultry, sultry voice. =D

Wipe Out

2006-10-16T18:29:00.000+08:00

Naaalala ba ninyo ung sa powerpoint, yung wipe vertical and wipe horizontal effects sa slide transition? Magandang ihalintulad kasi iyon sa kung anumang journal o blog entry ang naisulat na nuong isang taon na ang nakalilipas.

Nung isang taon, lubusan akong nagaga sa dalawang pelikula: ang Danny Deckchair at 9 Songs. Yung Danny Deckchair kasi, tungkol siya sa pag-alis nang hindi sinasadya, ngunit naging maayos naman ang kanyang dinatnan na buhay sa kabila ng probinsya kung saan siya namalagi, nahagkan, at pinakasalan si Miranda Otto.

Ang 9 Songs naman, tungkol sa lahat ng maaaring magaganda at masasaklap na bagay na nangyari bago tuluyang sinadyang umalis ng babae sa buhay ng lalake. Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll at the age of 21.

Arctic meteorologist ang lalake, at sa pagkakataong ito, ang babae naman ang animo pabaya, ang walang pakialam sa pag-ibig. Isa rin ito sa mga nagustuhan ko sa pelikulang ito, kasi babae ang animo pariwara, ngunit mas masaklap ang kinahinatnan ng lalake nang inaanino niya ang nakakabulag na arctic regions sa simula ng pelikula.

Tuwing aalahanin ang lahat ng mga pelikula't eksena mula sa tunay na buhay, naiisip ko na parang osmosis ang lahat ng nangyayari. Lilisanin ang nakagisnan, lilipat, totoong magiging luma ang bago, at magsisimula muli ang lahat.

Mayroong kanta si John Mayer ukol sa personang inaalala ang kanyang nakalipas na relasyon. Binabati siya ng lahat kasi naka-iskor siya ng isang "perpektang" babae, ngunit inaalala pa rin niya ang kanyang nakaraan kasi, sa totoo lang, mas mukhang masaya siya sa ex niya.

Hindi ko sinasabing gusto kong balikan ang ex ko. Ayaw na ayaw ko talaga. Pero ika nga, looking forward, ano na ba talaga ito lalo na't nagsisimula ka na muli?

May mga naalala kasi ako sa mga pag-alis at sa pagpapasinaya ng bagong buhay. Minsa'y nagtataka lang ako kung ano ang nangyayari sa nananatiling espasyo sa iniwang buhay. Mayroon naman na pumapalit, pero eksaktong sing-sukat at hubog ba sila ng iniwan mo?

Sa naiwan na espasyo sa iyo, lubos ba o kulang ang papalit sa "butas" na iyon?

-----

Kamakailan lamang ay pinag-uusapan namin ng kaibigan ko sa kaopisina kung bakit maraming nagpapakasal na sa edad ko. Ang sumusunod ay ang mga sagot nya:

ganto lang yan kat eh, pwedeng:
a. mayaman na kasi sila so no need to work, the next step is to be married
b. nabuntis ang gurlash (very common nowadays, almost seems like the norm)
c. mag-aabroad ang isa sa kanila so para may kasiguraduhan ang future, kelangan magpakasal
d. mas malalatipid pag isang bahay nalang ang titirhan kesa mag-board separately, tutal doon din naman pupunta yun (may kakilala akong ganto!)
e. masyadong nao-overwhelm sa feeling of being in love so kalimutan na ang pagiging practical at magpakasal na agad
f. they don't do pre-marital sex at excited na sila so kasal na para legal! (may kakilala rin akong ganito!)
g. imbento lang, to arouse curiousity sa mga friends niya sa friendster

----

Umiinit ang ulo ko sa patalastas na ito sa EDSA.

Kaunting kahihiyan naman. Naalala ko tuloy ang mga panunudyo sa mga Oriental na kesyo mas maliit ang circumference ng ulo sa mga Puti, e di hamak na mas walang kakayahan na mag-isip kaysa sa kulay pulbos niyang amo.

Recurrence

2006-10-12T16:54:00.000+08:00

Sa kagandahang loob ng tadhana, nagkausap kami muli ng aking kaunaunahang crush sa Ateneo matapos kong hindi siya makita ng pitong taon.

Baduy man sabihin, naknakan pa rin siya ng kagwapuhan at katalinuhan. Hanggang ngayon ay kinikilig ako, lalo na't hagdanan lamang ang layo niya sa akin.

Nanunudyo na naman ang Diyos.

Familiarity

2006-09-29T16:23:00.000+08:00

Patuloy akong binabagabag ng gabing iyon.

Ikinulong kami ng ulan sa loob ng kanyang sasakyan, at wala kaming magawa kundi sumandal sa magkabilang panig nito. Dumaragsa ang pag-aalma ng mga busina sa labas, pero maaaring makurot ang hindi mawaring katahimikan sa pagitan namin.

Pinagmamasdan ko ang kanyang mukha habang ginagalusan ito ng mga anino ng bawat patak ng ulan. Iba ang sayaw ng bawat isa, tatalon mula sa kanyang noo, aagos sa kanyang ilong hanggang sa pisngi at mga labi, ngunit hindi kailanman matatakpan ang kanyang mga mata. Iyon ang sinigurado ko.

At nuon, sa panahon na iyon, nalaman ko na maaaring may nararamdaman na ako para sa kanya.

The Fix

2006-09-06T15:10:00.000+08:00

Thinner

2006-08-31T13:16:00.000+08:00

Kamakailan lamang ay sinasabihan ako na pumapayat ako, na mas madalas na ngumingiti, at "blooming".

Iba kasi ang hilatsa ng pagmumukha ko ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung marahil lamang sa aking mahiwagang bangs, o sa kasi palagi ako naka-heels.

Kausap ko si roomie Cat kagabi. Iba na nga daw ang pagdadala ko sa sarili ko nitong mga nakalipas na araw. Mas madalas na akong tumawa nang malakas, at hindi na rin ganun kadalas mang-insulto ng mga alipores sa dorm.

Marahil ay bigla akong napapaalalahan na sa pamamagitan ng ilang minuto lamang pala ay maaaring mag-bago ang buhay.

-----

Naalala ko nang nagpakita sa akin si "this-guy-i'm-semi-seeing" (itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang Scott*) matapos kong malaman ang isang "sordid life-changing occurence" na hindi ko inaasahan na mangyari nang ganito kabilis.

Napansin ko na lang na may lumulutang na plastic ng Filbars sa harap ko.

And then he said, "Hey, Kat. Comics, o."

And then I said, "Hey, thanks, Scott*. Syempre you dropped it off here pa." (We are situated in different floors).

And then he said, "No problem."

Ngumiti siya, sabay talikod.

Matapos ng ilang segundo, napagtanto ko na kadarating ko lang nung umagang iyon, at hindi pa ako nagsusuklay at naghihikaw.

Magaling na bata. =D

Sabi nga ni Cat, isa itong paraan ni Lord na ipakita na matapos ng isang heart-wrenching misadventure, tuloy pa rin ang ligaya.

Panahon na upang magwala, upang magpunta kung saan-saan, ika nga. Mabuhay nang walang patumangga.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
------

Iniisip ko na kung mag-aaral ako sa NUS sa pamamagitan scholarship, makakayanan ko pa bang bumili nito:

Bangenge days

2006-08-26T11:12:00.000+08:00

Araw-gabi, nalalasing sa tuwa kapag kapiling ka kahit saan man magpunta.

It is a wonder how a few minutes may eventually spell the beginning of something absolutely great. =)

On Feliz Añonuevos, Dating, Bowling, and Beautification Tips with Directors

2006-08-25T13:09:00.000+08:00

Jesus Christ, it has been almost a month since my last update. My past few weeks have been an absolute fracas. Yebaaa!

Frankly, I love it. =) Anything that jolts me is fab.

Feliz Cumpleaños

August 19
True to the form of reflexivity among birthday blog entries, I celebrated my birthday last Saturday, August 19.

I went to the local carnivale in Malolos (perya, perya!) and have been indulging myself in caterpillar rides, bump cars, shooting (where I easily bested the punkistas and tambay sa kanto stereotypical males: naka-puruntong, naka-sando, suot ang tsinelas na Nikon, at sinusundan ng tinigin ang bawat chica na makita nila).

Nanalo ako ng Ube Pillows, Corn Chicheria and Milk Candy. At isang piraso ng baso!

I live for the simple joys. =)

August 18
I also had dinner with close friends the night before my birthday. Unfortunately, Telene, Jan, and Cathy were not able to make it (but I'll see you guys on Saturday and next week, no?) .

This was when my emo bling went into hyperdrive.

Recently (and as I always do), I compare my life with what it was like a year ago. Well, here's a fab checklist:

1. Family [CHECK] --> Mama, Nanay Rosi, and the doggies are doing much better. The doggies are more malambing, and everything is (and hopefully will always be) fine and happy.

2. Friends [NEUTRAL] --> Gained some, lost one (but that one person really tore me up). But thank you for greeting me during my birthday.=) Even though we may never talk again, she will never be lost or foreign to me.

3. Boyfriend [NADA] --> Broke up around Christmas last year.

4. Money [NADA] --> Effing broke. =D

5. Career [NEUTRAL] --> It has its better days, but recently, I'd rather think about studying abroad

6. Grad Studies [CHECK] --> Passion has been rekindled. Re-reading my books and studying, and talking to people who are on their way to stellar academic futures and some who are already immersed in it. Getting there, getting there. =)

5. Sleep [NADA] --> Yes, and I have started to count backwards.=)

4. Vacations [CHECK] --> Baguio, and every weekend

However, there are just some things that are inexplicably simple to do, and I just have to be resolute in doing them. Kayang-kaya naman e!

With that in mind, I realize (however baduy this may seem, you can just shoot me when you see me), I realize I have been celebrating my birthday everyday.

Everyday is a birth into sorts: a new project, a new outlook, a new page in your GMAT reviewer, a new page to read in your X-Men comics, a new date for dinner and coffee with friends, and a new smile from this guy I am semi-interested in. =)

Yes, I may be seeing someone. I really don't want to blow it out of proportion, but he's an okay guy. A nerd just like me. =) He likes comics/ graphic novels, surfing, soccer, and all of those wonderful boy things.

He's tall, mestizo, absolutely cute (heartthrob daw cya sa batch niya ukol sa kaopisinang batchmate niya *chuckle*) and, need I say, mas may dugong Kastila kaysa sa akin. =) I also think he's funny. =D

I'm going bowling with him tonight. Wish us luck. =)

And maybe even Laoag and Vigan. Two of my dream places to visit.

I also had this discussion on beauty and fitness with one of my directors. He (yes, he) told me that he was using gum-nut gel on his hair, now that he's growing it to metrosexual lengths. While he was discussing his hair grooming habits, I recommended using that Goat's Milk brand being sold in Beauty Bar on your hands for moisturizing. Heehee, I love these discussions. =)

BTW, I leave with my fave videos of the week (connect).

Peace out and chill. =D

On Leaving

2006-07-31T13:22:00.000+08:00

Medyo mahirap kasing magpaalam sa mga nakatabi mo sa trabaho (si Jong ang kumuha ng litratong ito).

Salamat, Jong. =) Kita ulit tayo.

Fever

2006-07-05T15:16:00.000+08:00

Because love can be found in between the pages of X-Men comics. =)

Ateneo Survey

2006-06-21T18:13:00.000+08:00

(X) eat at Manangs
( ) learn the alma mater
(X ) get on the dean's list
(X) lie down and sleep on a bench along EDSA walk - does after college count?
( ) be a TNT!
(X) jog around the campus in the evening
(X) visit the art gallery
(X) know at least one xerox lady, manong, or technician by name --> ate alma! =)
(X) get a Jesuit for a teacher
( ) itch from higad bites
(x) watch a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game --> cuss words ahoy! Hello, Mapi.=)
(x) give a powerpoint presentation
(X) study in the Caf Upstairs
(X) watch a T.A. play
(X) sit on the SEC ledge and watch the stars
(X ) eat in Full House, Martha's Kitchen, and Ken Afford
( ) sleep in the lib --> manakawan pa ako.
(x) visit Mr. San Andres --> Yes, for several reasons academic and org-related reasons.=)
(X) go to the chapel
(X) have gotten a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers in the middle of the quad
( ) cut class with your block to watch a movie ---> d ko style... HAHAHAH
(X) sign up for those institutional (i.e. difficult but brilliant) teachers: Ferriols, Dacanay, David, Manacsa, Ang, Escaler, Arcilla, Totanes, and many others ---> ESCALER? MARK ESCALER?! He's the love of my life! and proud ako A-girl ako sa kanya.
( ) go to CERSA night
(x) have tried siomai rice --> with toyo and sweet and sour sauce!
( ) learn how to smoke
(X) fall in love ---> twice lang =D
(X) actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib
(x) play cards during your free time --> bridge, pusoy dos and tong-its man!
(X) dress in business attire --> yes, the Mark Escaler look with Jon and Dianne. Idol!
(X) learn to stay awake for more than 24 hours straight
( ) have gotten side comments from ASSOC
( ) take (and enjoy) Saturday classes
( ) go to your immersion
(X) eat Food for Thought sandwiches --> FFT, nasaan ka na ngayon?
(X) get a boyfriend/girlfriend
(X) take time to read the vandalism in the CR doors --> Exercise on grammar and style =D
(x) watch â€œMinsan Lang Sila Bataâ€ and â€œMacho Dancerâ€ for class --> At Insiang. I love Fr. Cruz
( ) do a last minute paper
( ) have spent a lot for 1x1 ID pictures ---> meron xeroxan sa UP. Cheap lang.
(x) get exempted from final exams ---> Much to the annoyance of my blockmates
(X) attend a college mass
( ) promise to quit smoking
( ) play hide-and-seek in the mini-forest
(X) know where the best restrooms are on campus
(X) join an org --> Kung anuano nga trouble nakukuha ko sa orgs e.
(X ) allow yourself to make mistakes
(X) take summer classes
(X) admire the sacred heart statue in the evening
(X) make a video for a project
(X ) have a crush on a teacher --> are you kidding?!
( ) attend a Jesuit retreat
( ) have gotten a parking ticket
(X) come to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes
( ) learn how to use the Bayantel pay phones
(X) participate in school activities
( ) catch the Blue Babble Battalion tryouts --> don't ask me what I think about the BBB.=)
(x) date an Atenean ---> Meron din taga-UP... HAHAHAHA!
(X) ride a tricycle on campus
(X) find a tambayan --> Mahal kitang pubroom ka.
(X) admire the marikina valley at night
(X) go drinking along Katipunan
(x) learn how to beg for a higher grade
(X) use your cuts wisely
(x) volunteer to be class beadle
(x) had the worst lottery schedule for reg
(X) admire the trees on campus
( ) have forgotten about your free cut and gone to that class --> I live for free cuts.
(X) eat in the ISO canteen
(X) be active in your org
( ) have signed up on an ACP class just because the girl or guy u like signed up for it
(x) get as many app forms as you can during the job fair
(X) learn how to cram --> Who doesn't?
(X) sell tickets (or watch) an org-sponsored movie premiere
(X) save money to Xerox all of your seatmates notes
(X) have accidentally seen a make-out session ---> Sa tuktok ng SEC C, and thumping cars sa likod din ng SEC C.
(X) check out the Meron Lagoon and Lambingan Bridge
( ) have dozed off in class in Bel right after a class in CTC/SOM/Comm. Bldg or vice-versa --> Dozed off means to sleep. Baka dashed to. In that case, oo.
( ) learn how to work with groupmates from hell --> i choose my groupmates wisely.=D
(X) perfect the art of parking on campus
( ) had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus
(x) develop a love for sisig
(x) learn how to pronounce AEGIS properly --> Anak ng tokwa. Org ko to e!
(X) have used typing rooms at the library
(X) have reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function
( ) have asked the library for an endorsement to research in other libraries
( ) have lost a perfectly functioning umbrella
(x) have used consultation hours properly
(X) Looked forward to lab breakage refund, in case you didnt break any equipment --> 1st and 2nd year lang.=)
(x) visit the Guidance Office ---> kailangan pag scholar e.
( ) and Infirmary --> No, found it too creepy.=D Like resident evil creepy.

For J

2006-06-05T01:13:00.000+08:00

I was visiting J's friendster page right after my ex's.

I am somewhat bothered by the multiplicity of my emotions for J. I haven't seen him since college. We have no reason to see each other, yet it is much more unfortunate that we don't even talk anymore. Even the weather is such a cautious topic to at least dedicate a syllable for.

Recounting my experiences last year, I had an awful realization: Even if I were in a relationship, if he asked me to run away with him, I would.

Without even a backward glance, I would pack up my bags (kahit hindi na nga e) and run to the nearest bus stop or the airport, and blow my savings on a plane ticket to a destination at the other fragmented cheek of this world, and just run away with him.

We never did ever talk about what I felt for him. He has this girl, see. The luckiest girl ever. He's going to marry her eventually, this I am sure.

I really don't know her, but I know her from his words, his hand movements, his excitement when he talks about her and that earth-shattering love for her. Even though she's suicidal and beyond his arm's reach now, he loves her. She's such a child to let him go.

I would have fought to stay with him. He is perhaps the Mark Escaler of my generation, and that's saying a lot. I would love to talk to him about McLuhan, and how media and public opinion form the current chicken-and-egg paranoia of retracing steps via theory.

That I envy. I could take care of him, and make his life so much easier for him.

I planned to tell him that I love him during graduation: hand him a postcard saying I love him. That after four years of my lips wanting to part to announce this: I love him, and it was no small feat for me.

But I didn't see him during gradution, because I was talking to my ex's sister.

Must've been fate.

He's going to Nanyang, which I only found out after I finalized my plans to go to either Nanyang or NUS.

I wish I could just hug him, and tell him everything's going to be alright. And I just wish, for once, he would say it back to me.

-----

I bought a Juicy Couture bag. Lo and behold, the zipper was a golden J.=)

Prison break

2006-05-30T13:13:00.000+08:00

http://kradorer2.castpost.com/pb-btw4.wmv

http://kradorer2.castpost.com/pb-btw3.wmv

http://kradorer2.castpost.com/pb-btw2.wmv

http://kradorer2.castpost.com/pb-btw1.wmv

Prison Break

http://kradorer2.castpost.com/mariah-carey-its-like-that.wmv

http://kradorer2.castpost.com/mariah-carey-we-belong-together.wmv

http://kradorer2.castpost.com/fox1025-casino-party.mov

Kasi masayang magbakasyon

2006-05-03T16:04:00.000+08:00

Masaya naman kasi talagang magbakasyon.

Apat na araw lang akong nakahilata sa bahay. Ang saya-saya nang wala kang ginagawa, pero nakakabahala na sa pagbalik mo ay kung anu-ano na naman ang tatambad sa iyo.

Ah, the perils of research. =D

-----

Being the grand divine rest period, I was watching [pirated] DVDs of Peanuts cartoons yesterday. I have only started with two DVDs, and started to scan the rest of the 20-disc set. The last disc contained contemporary song numbers, and saw the infamous discussion of Peppermint Patty and Charlie Brown under the tree.

PP: You know what I don’t understand, Chuck? I don’t understand love. Explain love to me Chuck.
CB: I can't explain love... It's like when you happen to see this cute girl walk by...
PP: What do you mean, “If you happen to see a this cute little girl walk by”? Why does she have to be cute? Can’t someone fall in love with a girl who isn’t cute, and has freckles and a big nose? Explain that, Chuck!
CB: Okay, let's say this girl comes by with freckles and a great big nose...
PP: I didn’t say a great big nose. So, Chuck, do you think you’ll ever get married? Well, what kind of girl do you think you’ll marry?
CB: Well, I suppose so... Whenever I'm depressed or down, she would be the kind of girl that would cuddle me and call me poor sweet baby.
(Peppermint Patty then launches into song, and cuddles Charlie Brown)
PP: What do you mean she’d be the kind of girl who would call you “Poor Sweet Baby?” You’re very strange. "

CB: It's not only difficult to talk about love, you can't even talk about it!

I was crying when I watched that. I suppose it would be normal (?) that pet names are thrown about during a relationship. I didn't have one. Ever.

I always wanted to be called "Snowflake" for the following reasons:
- Extremely white and unique
- I'm as persistent as dandruff
- I'm a flake (haha)

Ewan.

Anonymous statements

2006-03-20T19:54:00.000+08:00

Si PB kasi... (with slight modifications)

Instructions: Write one statement to each of the people on your Blogger friends list. Never tell which one is for who.

1. I have always admired you for your strength, for where you you are now, helping people, and being continually educated. Alam ko nagalit ka sa akin nung college freshman-sophomore ako, pero it's funny how things turn out for the best. Kita tayo diyan soon, cross-country travel always amused me.=)

2. Salamat at naging mabait ka sa akin nung roomie kita. Kahit ung iba naweweirduhan sakin nun, kinakausap mo pa rin ako. Anlayo na rin ng narating mo, lola. Diyosa ka tlga.

3. Matapos ng lahat, naging kayo din. Asteeeg. Alagaan mo siya, pre.

4. Kailan ba tayo babalik sa Bacolod? Miss na kita at ung She Bangs moment natin. Naaalala ba ni Harris yun?

5. Maraming salamat, my sunshiny friend. A real blessing. Tas akala nya mataray ako nung collegge. Bwehehe.

6. Naku, isa ka pang lifesaver ka. Halika dito nang mayakap kita sa matinding pasasalamat.

7. Sa wakas, graduate ka na. Kahit cranky critics tayo ng buhay, huwag dapat mawalan ng pag-asa... and I sound like a red cross alcohol commercial.

8. Puntahan kita sa UP one time. Andami kong kuwento sayo.

9. Huwag ka na magbadminton. Araw-araw na lang tayo manuod ng pelikula at kumain ng kung anuanong anik-anik sa Galleria.

10. Salamat sa sideline.=) Pero seriously, anlaki ng utang na loob ko sa inyong mag-ama. Magmahalan ang mga weirdo.

11. Hwow, ang galing galing galing mo sa lahat ng bagay, dear. I wish you luck with everything, lalo na nakakalat ang iyong pangalan sa mundo. We'll always be here for you when you get back, at kahit nakatahi ka sa alapaap.

12. Ikaw, ewan ko sayo. Kahit ka nangungumusta, mahal pa rin kitang mokong ka. Tusukin kita ng karayom e (love hurts).

13. Nakikita-kita ko na ang iyong kinabukasan. Magiging pulitiko ka, pero ung mabuting uri ng pulitiko. Mamahalin ka ng madla, at magiging masaya ang bansang ito. Pero long live ang ispiritu ng hiphop na kaastigan sa iyo.

14. Isa kang matalinong bata. Kaya mo na yan.

Tag: Kung sinuman ang makabasa nito... Ayos. Ü

Penagbenga

2006-02-27T19:23:00.000+08:00

Astig kami...=) Thanks din, Lem!

Happy Place!

2006-02-27T11:49:00.000+08:00

Here's to Jeline and her fab singing.:)

Pastillas all around

2006-02-21T18:18:00.000+08:00

I haven't been as free and as diligent in updating, but I am trying to write by piecemeal. A lot can happen in a day, a week, a month, and I am happy to say that everything does lead to personal betterment (whether I like it or not, at basta hindi ako bitter).

Hopefully, details on all of those wonderful things can be recounted, as everything is often a blur nowadays, intervened by snapshots of people. It is as if I were standing on the MRT Buendia isle and machines are racing beside me, beneath me, and above me. I feel the world literally vibrate, and the surrounding movement pushes me to move in the first terra cotta tile, and then the next, and so on.

---

I really had a bad day at work today. My days in this company are already numbered, but that's alright. Everything happens for a reason, and perhaps this would point me to somewhere or something I really feel passionate about. Grad studies? But supporting one's self without a job is painful.

Isip, isip.

---

My mother will get her biopsy results tomorrow. Wish us luck, and a lot of strength. Kahit kadalasa'y may iringan kami ng aking ina, astig pa rin naman siya.:)

---

Dr. Doronila, a former boss and mentor in my first professional stint, died last Sunday due to a car accident in Zamboanga. She was 65 years old, and lived a very full life championing Philippine education.

I never figured her for someone who would succumb to disease and old age. I'd remember her husky voice, and she would say (always with authority), "Do not cry for me, Kat. You have to look pretty all the time."

Ma'am Doro talaga.

---

I have been going out quite frequently recently, and I'd like to say a big warm thanks top everyone. I have always been vocal about my gratitude, and expect more yeheys and yipees from me. Astig kayo. Rakstar.

---
Mabuhay ang kagandahang loob at ang mga ngiti. =)

Yehey!

2006-02-09T19:43:00.000+08:00

Hindi ko na siya mahal.

Party tayo!:D

Of shutting myself out

2006-01-15T23:37:00.000+08:00

I remember things I am not supposed to remember anymore.

I think of things, the what-have-beens, our silly leaping forward into the future.

I see, but I cannot remember his face. Only his nose, and his forehead.

And yeah, that smile with the crooked teeth.

-----

Thank you to those who listened, and cared, and said everything will be alright.

I believe you. I really do.

-----

On an unrelated note, I am so happy for you, Sakura-girl, that you love him, and he loves you back, with that burning passion I only see in the movies. Baz Luhrmann could have only been so jealous.

I am so envious of you both, that after seven years, your steps still lead you to one another.

Please take care of him. He is a very delicate and passionate young man, and you are so lucky to have him.

-----

I pray for that kind of love everyday, in between pages of reports, during mindless water cooler chatter, when I press the elevator buttons.

And no one really knows.

Of things expiring

2006-01-04T11:11:00.000+08:00

Hindi na kami magkasintahan.

Napakasakit.

Hanggang dito na lamang muna. Hindi ko na kayang isabog ang aking palad upang magsalita.

*****

2005-12-16T18:24:00.000+08:00

Yes, the lights will indeed guide me home.:)

Aysuskolord!:)

2005-11-05T23:34:00.000+08:00

Random mushroom shoots:

1. Naaalala ko si Sigh at ang kanyang kakaibang katangian/kapangyarihan (diyosa kasi siya Ü) na makita ang kabutihan ng bawat isa, kahit na sa paningin ng karamihan ay wala nang pag-asa ang pinag-uusapan.

2. Masarap matulog sa hapon, nang wala kang iniisip.

3. Iniisip ko kung anong kulay ang ipipinta ko sa aking kuwarto. Maglagay din kaya ako ng itim na tiles? Disco-dancing!

4. Kahit maraming problema, masaya ang buhay.

5. I'm also a sap.:)

6. Matagal-tagal na rin akong hindi nakapagsusulat ng kahit tula.

7. Masayang magpasaya ng ibang tao.

8. Balik-trabaho muli sa Lunes. Marami na naman nga ako ulit project e!:D Goodbye, social life. Hello, Kat the cubicle cookie!

9. Kamukha ko ba si Brak? Medyo, no?:)

10. Magblog-blog na tayong lahat!:D

Of things better left said and done

2005-11-04T22:44:00.000+08:00

I have gone quite wary of guessing what is going on in the Metropolita-noggin. People emote one specific thing, yet totally churn out an unrelated mind-boggling concept. Task after task, every syllable hangs on for dear life: It has been used in another lie in one form or another.

They mean well, but would exhaust every possible measure not to shell out that extra peso for the jeepney driver. Acquaintances lie, cheat and backstab, yet at dinner parties their porcelain teeth hide their shame for being so feckless that morning. Friends sleep with married men, lie about their lives, and go on being addicted to drama.

Please, just give me a break.

Being the supposed children of God that we are, we sure screwed up brain-and-mouth coordination.

*****
I miss going out to the beach, with the sun frying my skin to bacon. Bottled time would be such a commodity, much like that shower gel you grease yourself with preluding each happy-happy-joy-joy occasion.

*****
I offer my prayers to Philip, Jan, and Mapi, who have received their grades in their law colleges.

OkCupid!

2005-10-31T00:58:00.001+08:00

Saw this in Jeline's blog. I feel lukewarm about my results, probably because it is true:

The Sonnet

Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth

CONSIDER: The Loverboy

---
So, this is how it feels like to take a break, with no one contacting you regarding work, or commenting on your lifestyle, or being harassed with the daily commute.

Just like working on a Saturday, when everything is quiet and there is a foreboding sense of calm in the office. I like that a lot.:)

---
I have been going out with a couple of newfound friends recently, whom I affectionately call the Smile Brigade. One of them makes me laugh while (gently) whacking my head with papers, while the other announces my secret identity as the rightful heir of Nerdlandia.:)

---
I have been LONGING for a vacation since time immemorial. Where can I go?

Books for Sale

2005-10-20T12:41:00.000+08:00

Here's my goofy goof Alex at a merry-go-round. :) Isn't he adorable? Teehee.

Need books?

http://www.avalon.ph/Auction/APSearch.asp?CMD=SEARCH&SearchName=katcons

Thanks!

Pagpaparamdam 101

2005-10-02T00:26:00.000+08:00

Ito ay umusbong mula isa pa sanang mas magandang entry, na nabura kasi hindi tumatanggap ng cookies ang magaling kong browser sa office. Palagay ko ay mas mabuti na nga rin na isulat ko ito ngayon, kasi mas sulit ang bawat pantig at mas dama ang diin ng pindot sa bawat tokwa-letra ng keyboard.

Patuloy na pumipila't humihilera ang mga iba't ibang pangyayari sa panahong ito. Nalaman ko na kung hanggang saan lang ako dapat, at kung saan ako dapat lumugar sa pagbabakasakali na umayon o hindi umayon sa akin ang panahon.

Nakarinig ako ng mga bagong boses at kanta: mga boses na nangungulit, "Nasaan na?" pati na rin ang menthol joyride ng Franz Ferdinand, The Dandy Warhols at iba pa.

Ika nga, "I'm so drunk I don't mind if you kill me."

***
Nariyan na ang amoy Pasko, lalo na tuwing mga alas-dos ng umaga, kung saan talagang pinipilit ko na maging gising para lamang dumugo ang ilong ko sa lamig.

Sa panahon na rin na ito naririnig ko ang mga baboy na ginigilitan, hinihila, sinisipa, at iniialay kay Aleng Fe para ipaninda niya mamayang hapon. May katayan ng baboy kasi sa labas ng subdivision, at naririnig ko na ito kahit nung bubwit pa ako.

Singtining ng amoy ang tunog.

***
Maraming salamat sa mga sumusunod na DVD na ipinahiram sakin ng aking kaopisina, at lubos akong napahinga nitong nakalipas na weekend. Matagal-tagal na rin kasi akong hindi nakakaramdam ng kahit anong ikasisiya ko.

9 Songs

Starting off with British guy Matt in Antartica, surveying the land, the movie is a flashback to his fling with an American girl named Lisa (Margo Stilley, who looks like a taller, learner Maggie Gyllenhaal). The two go to a great concert, have sex, go to a great concert, have sex, rinse, repeat 7 more times. Amazingly, even though you're only seeing the sex, you're seeing the reality of a relationship and able to see the emotions and feelings of both people from beginning to end. It's an interesting note to all those movies out there who try to show everything BUT the sex...maybe you're missing the real point.

Of course what really makes the movie a must-watch is the performances. One of a kind concert footage from some of my personal favorite bands, Franz Ferdinand, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, The Von Bondies, Super Furry Animals and Primal Scream. If you're a fan of these bands, its like getting a bonus DVD of footage.

Be warned, the sex is real. No faking, no CGI. But it doesn't really feel like porn, least not to me. Winterbottom shots it the film on digital video, probably the best way to capture all the concerts. The film's a solid 65 minutes, just the perfect amount of time to course the relationship of two people in lust.

Mahirap husgahan ang pakikipagtalik sa pinilakang tabing, lalo na kung totoo itong nangyayari. Hindi siya pornograpiya, na masasabi kong malamig at mabilis. Ang pelikula ay nagiging paanyaya sa kanilang mga alaala, sa rock concerts, sa paghuhubad na ginagawa ng paninigarilyo, mga pagsulong sa kama, sa pagitan nila.

Nararamdaman mong lumulundag ang kuryente mula kanilang mga daliri, mga paa, mga mata't palad, at tamang-tama lamang ang bawat kanta.

Danny Deckchair

Danny Deckchair is the story of a guy named Danny. He's your average joe who works as a construction worker, but this past week, he's had the tendency to fall into wet cement while on the job. Why? Because he's thinking about his upcoming vacation- traveling via plane to go camping. Yes, it doesn't make much sense upon first thought, as when you travel you stay in hotels, but Danny's the type of lax guy that doesn't mind. When off of work, he bumps into an old friend from highschool at a party favor store. The guy now owns his own used car lot, but is complaining about how the balloons he ordered have his name spelled incorrectly. With that, he gives Danny one of said balloons. Danny takes it home, finds out that his girlfriend can't come with him during his vacation, and pratically spends his vacation at home.

But he soon looks for things to do, most of which are zany things like explore the attic and such. But after finding out that he's been lied to by a friend and his own girlfriend, who was seen with a local news caster, Danny loses general interest with everything. At a BBQ that he didn't really want to throw, he starts tying balloons to a deckchair after filling them up with helium that he bought. One after the other, he sees if he'll actually be lifted into the air. And you know what? He does. Danny floats off, grasping to the deckchair's arm rests, as that's all he can hold onto. His girlfriend and friends panic, naturally, and try to follow him, but he's soon lost.

Thanks to a firework, Danny's little flight is halted, and he lands in a completely different town, miles away from his. But this is a town he can really fit into. Everyone's nice for the most part, people listen to his ideas, he helps a woman start to enjoy her life, and more. But her ex-boyfriend is jealous of Danny, and tries to screw things up for them. At the same time, Danny's former life is catching up to him, and he'll soon have to deal with it in front of his new townsfolk.

Matapos panoorin ito, gustong gusto kung lumabas ng bahay, kunin ang maamag nang monobloc sa veranda, talian ng lobo, at magbagong-buhay.

Baka nga gawin ko na iyon. Malapit-lapit na.

Maraming salamat kay Sally para sa mga ito.

***
Deity of the moment: Frand Ferdinand!

Yes, I love the way his hair flips just like that.

I think I'm falling in love with the song Jacqueline.

***
My godfather Sonny Yñiguez will be having a one-man art show entitled "The End of the Game" at the Heritage Gallery in Megamall.

The opening will be on October 10, 6 PM, and will run til the 2oth.

Please text me so we can meet there. I will be at the opening.:)

***
This is for Jan, my unsung hero.:)

Lyons Orange & Spice

2005-09-16T12:39:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the lame title. Couldn't think of anything.

I am also sorry for being tired and cranky all the time recently. I just am really, really tired.:(

Also, I'd like to note that extreme pressure brings in a unique brand of depression and hopelessness: When will all of this professional harassment stop?

Sana next week.

What I want for Christmas

2005-09-15T20:22:00.000+08:00

is a family of happy beagles.

Our beagle Sakura is pregnant, and for sure I'll be naming one of her pups as Rerun.:)

Because being cranky is "in" nowadays.

2005-09-13T15:49:00.000+08:00

If you have your cigarettes and alcohol, I have my chippy and coffee.

Leave me alone.

Shadowboxing

2005-09-02T14:01:00.000+08:00

In my more random travails throughout the blog universe, I came across this blog (pasintabi na lang po sa may-ari. Nais kitang kausapin, pero hindi ka nag-iwan ng pangalan).

These would have been the things he said to her.

Maybe it's him, after all.

That's just plain saddening.

Original Sin

2005-09-02T11:25:00.000+08:00

Gustong-gusto ko talaga kung paano dumausdos mula tenga hanggang dila ang bawat titik ng kantang ito.

Original Sin
Elton John
Oh, it's carnival night
And they're stringing the lights around you
Hanging paper angels
Painting little devils on the roof

Oh the furnace wind
Is a flickering of wings about your face
In a cloud of incense
Yea, it smells like Heaven in this place

I can't eat, can't sleep
Still I hunger for you when you look at me
That face, those eyes
All the sinful pleasures deep inside

Tell me how, you know now, the ways and means of getting in
Underneath my skin,
Oh you were always my original sin
And tell me why, I shudder inside, every time we begin
This dangerous game
Oh you were always my original sin

A dream will fly
The moment that you open up your eyes
A dream is just a riddle
Ghosts from every corner of your life

Up in the balcony
All the Romeo's are bleeding for your hand
Blowing theater kisses
Reciting lines they don't understand

The joys of being sick during your sick leave

2005-08-31T14:46:00.000+08:00

Are actually zilch. Harhar.

However, there is actually one thing that I appreciate when I am literally excreting my lungs out through diseased air molecules: I am slowing down.

I just turned 23 this month, and the pressure to perform beyond stellar expectations has been performing the limbo rock on my flat, flat head.

So what did I do during my extended weekend? As the virus ravished this defenseless lump of flesh (germs can be so sexy), I was laughing my ass off watching Seinfeld and The Office. Talk about reflexivity in SitComs. Laughter may have not been the best medicine, since I cannot swallow anything bigger than a grain of rice after.

Kamakailan lamang ay mas lalo kong napapahalagahan ang aming mga aso sa bahay, lalo na tuwing lalapit sila sa akin matapos kong magtaray. Nakakabugnot naman kasi talaga kapag maysakit ka: bawal kang lumabas ng bahay, bawal mamasyal sa perya (oo, nagpupunta ako sa ganun), bawal mamili ng dvd, bawal mag-drive, at kung anu-ano pang maaaring ipagbawal ng Bathala.

Walang pakialam ang mga aso kahit hinihika na ako, kahit sumasabog ang kung anu-anong near-carcinogenic stuff sa ere. Palagi silang andun, naka-tanga’t nakatitig. Akala siguro tinatawag ko sila: kumakahol na ako tuwing pakiramdam ko ay kinakahig ang aking baga’t lalamunan.

Dahil nga kakaiba ang trabaho, hindi ko agad nakuha ang aking birthday leave. Kukunin ko siya sa Lunes.

Tinanong ako ni Lizzie kung ano ang gagawin ko sa araw na iyon, at sinabi ko na lang,

“Matutulog. Matutulog nang matutulog.”

Panawagan

2005-08-25T16:59:00.000+08:00

Guys,

If you're planning to buy from or eat at McDo for the next few weeks, kindly give me a call I'd like to ask a favor:

Pabili naman po ng Snoopy nila na Happy Meal.:)

Just text me na lang at 09178397354. Meron na ako nung parang air balloon. Will pay P30 per Snoopy.

Please help the kid with the addiction.:) Thank you!

Of LSS

2005-08-24T11:44:00.000+08:00

List five songs that you are currently digging - it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they'renot any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now.

Post these instructions and the five songs (with artist) in your blog. Then tag five people to see what they're listening to.

(Si Philip kasi e.)

Summerwind by Frank Sinatra

Vertigo by U2

Roxie by Renee Zellweger (Chicago OST)

The Only Gay in the Village by Spencer Liam

King of Pain by Sting

A matter of choice

2005-08-22T13:17:00.000+08:00

Tama si Philip.

It is now a matter of choosing what is right, and what is easy.

Just before my 23rd.

2005-08-18T13:03:00.000+08:00

Yes, my 23rd birthday. I am turning 23 tomorrow.

Recently, I have been riddled with questions on what I am supposed to do.

For me, the answers are obvious. On the other hand, actually moving my butt to do what I want is not as easy.

Andyan na, e. Mahirap lang... abutin.

Listening to:

Gypsy Kings (and I am learning I only have a certain threshold to listen to fancy Spanish music)
Jamiroquai
Billy Joel
Beck
Vince Guaraldi

Thanks to my new 256 MMC.

If I could afford an MMC, then I should rethink my priorities. :p

I may have found the perfect course: media and market research in one. Unfortunately, the campus is in Taft, and the workload may necessitate me to quit work and concentrate on my studies.

This I simply cannot do.

Hay, naku. Think happy thoughts.:)

Pick me!

2005-08-12T10:53:00.000+08:00

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern.
A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.
A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.
No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)

Freako Bear

2005-08-10T19:23:00.000+08:00

Nihilist Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

In the name of the Father, Son, and Semiotics.

2005-08-08T22:04:00.000+08:00

Academic takes PhD in art of air guitar
By Amy Iggulden
(Filed: 02/08/2005)

The first academic study into the sweaty pursuit of air guitar playing is to use the work of French philosophers to explain why men and women do it differently.

Doctoral research has begun under the supervision of Britain's first professor of pop music, who is also overseeing a PhD into the art of "moshing", the vigorous head-shaking dance popular among concert crowds.

The study will try and answer why men and women play differently
For the next three years, Amanda Griffiths, 32, a dance teacher from north Wales, will attempt to explain, in 60,000 words, why the attractions of an invisible guitar are generally overlooked by women, and how the girls who get involved do it differently.

To do so, she will use the complex arguments of French post-structuralist theorists such as Michel Foucault and Marxists such as Roland Barthes.

Miss Griffiths, who is funding her research at a cost of about £10,000, said: "The time seems right for a cultural study of phenomenon, because there is a very hardcore air guitar scene that has been bubbling away for years. But as a feminist I am interested in why there are so few women at events."

Her work, one of the subtitles of which is "air guitar: celebrating the fakeness of the inauthentic", has come to the attention of the organisers of the World Air Guitar Championships, and she has been invited to address a training camp for competition entrants in Finland this month.

Britain created the first world record for an air guitar ensemble when more than 4,000 people flailed along to Sweet Child o' Mine by the heavy metal band Guns 'n' Roses at the Guildford Festival in Surrey last month.

But Miss Griffiths's interest grew after she entered a regional air guitar competition on the eve of her 30th birthday two years ago.

Her unusual PhD was suggested by Prof Sheila Whiteley, chair of pop music at the University of Salford, whom she met on Radio 4's Woman's Hour, who has also overseen PhD studies into "post-anarcho punk" and heavy metal music.

Yey!

2005-08-08T11:27:00.000+08:00

Hihihi.:)

Motherf*cka place ta play

2005-07-30T10:27:00.000+08:00

A recent discovery:

Because I'm feeling particularly gangsterly these past few days, I'd like to present my nicely translated blog:

http://sites.gizoogle.com/?url=http://www.deseoviajar.blogspot.com/

Total incidence of memories being absolute lifesavers

2005-07-24T00:23:00.000+08:00

Jason, Jon, Dianne, and Bel

Polsci Group 2004, Senior Year

-------

I had this interesting dream during my afternoon siesta.

Jon, Jason, Dianne, and I were in an arcade.

Jon was winning all these stuffed animals, and we were all laughing and everything was just hilarious. I was also sitting down with Jason and Dianne, and they were planning a trip to Kalibo.

I woke up, and suddenly I felt so small.

I texted Jon, and he later told me of his plans of finally studying in Europe next year, along with Dianne. Jason was going to have a scholarship in Nanyang University, and everything was going to be a blast.

Also, I told him that I wasn't ready yet to study again. I feel that I am not yet as mature as I would like to be when I fill out my application, wherever it may be (but hopefully still in NYU), submit it and embark on something so scholarly my head will burst.

I feel I have so much to learn at my current career, and everything is working out in the pace I appreciate. Shielah, my manager, is such a great fount of patience. She hasn't thrown a fit yet, and that's good. :) As she said, everything I currently do is one big thesis after another.

She is absolutely correct, thank God.

I still miss college though.

-----

Jon, Jason and Dianne:

I know we have been estranged, heck, even not speaking anymore. I don't really know if you pass by here, but I still think of you.

I miss you guys, and our memories together in college keeps me going.

I still have those. Thank you very much.:)

Naknamanangewan.

2005-07-19T19:12:00.000+08:00

You are Frank O'Hara. You are a genius, but your
life just keeps getting in the way. Even
eating lunch gets in the way. You are totally
obsessed by bridges and water.

Which Famous Modern American Poet Are You?
brought to you by

Because Saturdays are supposed to be fun, and should not be spent in the office

2005-07-17T23:44:00.000+08:00

I spent a really nice day yesterday with the boyf. After two weeks of working and toiling at the fields even during weekends (yes, that includes Sundays) and going home late, it was about time I reward myself, even for a bit.

Okay, a major bit. Money does buy a wee bit of happiness.

Acquired the following yesterday:

1. Nice white high heels:

2. The much awaited Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I made sure the book was protected (wrapped entirely in plastic and cushioned with paper), and the people at Glorietta had this sort of cardboard "Diagon Alley" in the middle grounds. Sadly, I felt the book was not as promoted as the previous installments, but I got a lot of sweets and loot to boot.

And here are some of the dioramas sent in during the launch:

------

To my friends, a.k.a. life's little munchkins:

Hello. I know I have been the worst person to be a friend since I started where I am.

For that, I am sorry. Believe me, I try really hard to see all of you.

I love you guys. Magkita naman tau soon, okay? I'm just an e-mail, text, and call away.

Nice little shoesies

2005-07-15T15:34:00.000+08:00

This is what happens when I go insane, particularly for shoes, and earrings, and clothes, and bags...

Sorry, I prattle on and on like the [hot] pink Incredible Hulk.

I fell sideways yesterday.

2005-07-08T19:29:00.000+08:00

Now I am starting to feel how it is to love in greater leaps, and cry because of its urgency.

Announcement

2005-07-07T14:18:00.000+08:00

Paumanhin sa mga kaibigan ko na hindi ko agad nasasagot ang kanilang mga tanong o kuwento, kasi marami akong inaasikaso.

Primarily, sa trabaho, at ikalawa, sa trabaho. Ikatlo na lamang ang buhay ko.

Pathetic, no?

Hanggang dito na lang muna siguro, sa kasalukuyan. Mag-iingat kayo.

Never the same.

2005-07-03T17:52:00.000+08:00

I read this blog, and I was never the same.

Are you in the know?

2005-07-03T11:45:00.000+08:00

This is one of Kotex's Are you in the Know? ads from December 1964.

Priceless. Hehe.:)

I think I'll show this to my class when I'm going to teach. Sana malapit na.:)

Consiguiendo cosas perdidas

2005-07-02T11:06:00.000+08:00

Ang mga bagay na nawala sa akin ngayon:

1. Oras kasama ang aking Nanay Rosi, ang tunay na nagpalaki at nag-aruga sa akin. Ika -53ng kaarawan niya ngayon. Engrande pa naman ang handa, kasi sabi namin ni Mama hindi siya magluluto sa araw ng kanyang kaarawan. Piyesta ngaun sa bahay, at silang dalawa lang ang naroon.

Mahal kita, Nanay.

2. Oras sa Malolos, sa aking kama, sa pagmuni-muni ng kung anu-ano bago bumangon.

3. Oras na makasama si Angel at Kris, si Mapi, si Jan, at si Bel.

4. Oras para makapag-despedida para kay Niong.

5. Oras na gawin ang mga nais kong gawin.

Kasi nagtatrabaho ako.

On LSS while working your guts out

2005-07-01T20:02:00.000+08:00

Sexy Boy BY AIR

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Où sont tes héros aux corps d'athlètes
Où sont tes idoles mal rasées, bien habillées

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Dans leurs yeux des dollars
Dans leurs sourires des diamants
Moi aussi un jour je serai beau comme un Dieu

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

Apollon deux mille zéro défaut vingt et un an
C'est l'homme ideal charme au masculin

Sexy boy, sexy boy ...

English translation:

Where are your heroes with bodies like athletes
Where are your rough shaven, well dressed idols
Sexy Boy Sexy Boy
Dollars in their eyes
Diamonds in their smiles
One day I too will be beautiful like a god
Sexy Boy Sexy Boy
Apollo, perfect x 2000, 21 years old
The ideal man, masculine charm
Sexy Boy Sexy Boy

Please read: DOG FOOD DONATIONS

2005-06-29T13:06:00.000+08:00

Guys, this is something I really find important. It's time to take care of them, too.

-----
Bravepaws:

We are once again knocking on generous hearts for donations of dog food for our animal shelter. Masterfoods - the makers of WHISKAS & PEDIGREE - which regularly donates pet food to PARC is undergoing some organizational changes and this may delay delivery of the much-needed pet food donation by a few weeks.(Hopefully, only by a few weeks.)

In the meantime, we only have one large sack of dog food to go at PARC (PAWS Animal Rehabilitation Center) and we really need help in terms of donations.

Donated dog food may be dropped off directly at PARC near Barangka, Marikina (tel 475-1688 Francis), or at the home of PAWS President, Nita Lichauco at 87 Small Horseshoe Drive, New Manila, QC. (tel. 724-1986 Nita)

If you have donations which you cannot drop off at either address, please call 475-1688 for possible pick-up. Due to the fact that less than 10% of our volunteers have their own private vehicles, we would appreciate donations dropped off directly at PARC.

Cash donations, on the other hand, may be deposited at any PNB Branch, viz:
ACCOUNT NAME: The Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS)
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 072-830174-0
* Kindly fax a copy of the validated deposit slip to 475-1688 and indicate donor's full name and complete mailing address if you wish us to mail your official receipt to you.

PAWS is a NON-FUNDED associate of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA) in the U.K. and a NON-FUNDED shelter partner of the Humane Society International (HSI/HSUS). We do not receive funding from any foreign organization in terms of operational expenses for our shelter. To keep PARC running, PAWS depends entirely on adoption fees, donations from individuals and proceeds from the fundraisers that our volunteers organize for us.

Each day is a continuing struggle to provide the best care for over a hundred abandoned and rescued animals in PARC. We need your help.

Kindly forward this message to friends or relatives whom you think may be able to help us out. No effort or donation is too small. Even a bag or two of donated dog food would mean a lot to us. (We also have puppies in the shelter who will appreciate donations of puppy food.)

Thank you.

- P A W S

When every moment is a day, and everyday is a lifetime

2005-06-28T11:31:00.000+08:00

Mistulang halo ang nararamdaman ko para sa iyo ngayon.

Tinanong kita kagabi kung ano ang problema, kasi napapansin ko na nag-impake ang iyong mga mata't ngayo'y lumilibot na sa kung saang dako o singit ng telebisyon kagabi.

Alam kong may bumabagabag sa iyo. Ito ba ang napag-usapan natin dati? Noong bigla mo na lang akong tinawag at sinabi sakin ang dahilan kung bakit ka mas nagiging tahimik ka nitong nakalipas na buwan?

Tinanong kita kagabi, hindi ka naman sumagot.

Nagmukha akong tanga.

Siguro ganun naman talaga.

Ganun lang talaga.

Sabi nga ni Angel sa akin, "Masyado kang martir." But I digress.

Vibes mo marahil ay huwag na nga kitang papakialamanan.

Kung anuman yan, kahit huwag mo na akong kausapin, sana maayos na. Mabait ka namang tao (hindi ako sarcastic).

Kaya mo na yan.

Somewhere Eeyore is even more glum than usual

2005-06-28T10:49:00.000+08:00

I'll miss you, Tigger. I'll see you beyond the Hundred-Acre Woods.

On seeing the Earth blown to bits

2005-06-27T08:39:00.000+08:00

Yes, Arthur, I know exactly how you feel.

Amici migliori

2005-06-25T15:45:00.000+08:00

Love ko 'to. :)

Multi-coated glasses

2005-06-23T10:05:00.000+08:00

'Tis the season of break-ups.

I have noticed this recently, for the last couple of months. Couples I have always admired for staying together so long are now breaking up, or have already broken up, or are very well on their way of getting there.

These are the couples who have people saying, "Ah, sila na yan," or "Inaantay na nga lang namin yan [na magpakasal]."

If these things literally fall apart and crumble into teeny bits of residual guilt, anger, and good old-fashioned sadness, then what else is there to believe in?

I always had in mind that people knew true love in the 1920s: the time my grandparents met. My mother would always tell me how they would converse, my lolo singing humble hymns to my lola in the moonlight, and their walks in the park (when it was still safe).

The war broke loose, yet they remained loyal to each other, forging this great connection that surpassed even that truly depressing time.

My grandparents loved my mother and I so much I could still feel it now. I'm sure they're having a party in heaven, for all the Yñiguez boys (the four brothers who went Upstairs already whom my lolo Tomas is part of), being swing kids all over again. It was a sort of recompense for them, to enjoy the time the war took away.

I'll believe in that. I'll believe anything worth getting into is worth fighting for til the very end.

Speculative Fiction: Call for entries

2005-06-23T08:36:00.000+08:00

from:
http://deanalfar.blogspot.com/2005/06/speculative-fiction-antho.html

speculative fiction antho
Monday, June 20, 2005
Open Call for Filipino Speculative Fiction Anthology

I am in the process of putting together an anthology of original
Filipino Speculative Fiction and am now open for the submission of
short speculative fiction pieces for consideration. The anthology is
slated for publication on this coming December/January, and will be
published by Kestrel Studios, the publishing arm of my company.

My definition of “speculative fiction” is very broad, embracing
everything from fantasy to science fiction, magic realism and
interstitial/slipstream.

All the stories must be written by Filipinos (or those of Philippine
ancestry), veer away from tried and true formula stories (no retelling
of bruised Filipino legends unless you tell it really well), be written
for an adult sensibility, be written in English, and celebrate the
“sense of wonder”. What this means is no social realist texts,
certainly none about an impoverished boy on the back of a carabao
thinking about harsh social injustice – unless you write in that
scenario in a way that works given our parameters.

Preference will be given to original unpublished stories, but
previously published stories (no earlier than January 2004) will also
be considered. In the case of previously published material, kindly
include the title of the publishing entity and the publication date.

First time authors are most welcome to submit, as I’m looking for a
final mix of published and unpublished authors.

Each author may submit only one story for consideration. Make sure that
it’s really yours.

The word length of each story must be from 3,500 to 5,000 words.

All submissions must be in Plain Text format (.txt – save the document
as .txt on your word processor) and attached to an email to this
address: dean@kestrelimc.com. Submissions received in any other format
will be deleted, unread.

The subject of your email must read: spec fic submission: (title) (word
count), where (title) is replaced by the title of your short story,
without the parentheses, and (word count) is the word count of your
story, without the parentheses. For example, spec fic submission: the
final fandango 3500

All submissions must be accompanied by a cover letter that includes
your name, contact information, previous work (if any).

Deadline for submissions is August 15, 2005. After that date, final
choices will be made and letters of acceptance or regret sent out via
email.

Compensation for selected stories will be 2 contributor’s copies of the
published anthology.

/Dean Francis Alfar, editor

Ahas in the middle of the street

2005-06-22T11:08:00.000+08:00

Lubos lang akong naaasiwa sa isang usapan na aking pinatulan kagabi ilang segundo bago ako matulog.

Humihingi ka ng payo sa akin, Kaibigan A. Ako naman, dahil mahal ko ang mga kaibigan ko at itinuturing ko ang sarili ko bilang kanilang first and last line of defense, inalalayan kita sa problema mo sa pakikinig at pagbibigay-payo.

Sa lahat ng pabalik-balik na mga text na namagitan sa mga ating mga daliri kagabi, hindi ka rin pala nakinig.

Ang masakit pa, wala ka palang planong makinig.

Sa isip-isip ko na lang, sana pala hindi na lang tayo nag-usap. Sana hindi mo na lang ako kinausap, kasi parang binastos mo ako sa ginawa mong iyon.

Mali ang ginagawa mo, pero ginagawa mo pa rin.

Naiinis na ako.

Pero dahil mahal kita, makikinig lang ako. A shoulder to cry on, ika mo nga.

Andito lang ako, pre.

Romania. Nun. Crucified.

2005-06-21T12:36:00.000+08:00

We know that there is indeed something wrong in this world when we read about these things:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4107524.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4112568.stm

God, this is not fair.

Dahil ako ay isang galawgaw

2005-06-19T09:19:00.000+08:00

Matapos ng halos anim na buwan ng hindi pagkikita, nakita kong muli ang aking mga kaibigan na sina Bel at Mapi kahapon sa UP.

Kahit sa ilang sandali, nagkasama na naman ang Tatlong Maria sa may hagdanan ng Malcolm Hall, nag-ingay dahil sa salaysay at talakay sa buhay ng isa't isa, at matapos ay pinaringgan pa ako ng guard na ang ingay daw namin.

Boss, inggit ka lang.

Isang linggo na ang itinagal ni Mapi sa UP, at lubos na sumakit ang ulo ko sa pagpipigil na maiyak nang sinabi niya ito sa amin ni Bel:

"Sa mga ganitong panahon [na pumapasok ako dito], namimiss ko kayo lalo, kasi matapos ng klase, wala akong nakakasamang tao na parang tayo, yung solido na alam mong palaging andun."

Wala na lang akong nagawa kundi titigan siya, at yakapin. Sinabi rin namin sa kanya na makakatagpo din siya ng mga kaibigan dun (sana nga hindi lang mas basag ang pula sa aming tatlo).

Sa palagay ko naman ay magiging masaya si Mapi sa kanyang kinalalagyan, at sa huling-huli'y sa pasya niya na pumasok sa abogasya.

At isa pa, sira ulo pa rin siya pero mellowed na raw sa paningin ni Bel. Naknaman... :)

Matapos ng dalawang taon, natulungan ni Bel ang kanyang production outfit kung saan siya namamasukan na lumago hanggang sa may Makati. May kapatid na si Glue: si Ignite naman ang kanyang kasalukuyang inaalagaan. Lubusan siyang pumayat (inggit ako), at palaging nag-aalala sa kanyang balat na okay naman sa aking pag-eestima. Pahinga lang yan, dude.

Katatapos lamang ng kaarawan niya nitong Mayo kaya binigyan ko siya ng CD ng MP3s ng lahat ng maaari niyang magustuhan kasama ang foot lotion. Lakad kasi ng lakad tulad ko kaya alagaan naman niya sarili niya sa paliligo ng peppermint sa paa. Hardworking girl kasi yun e.

Habang hinahantay namin si Mapi na lumabas (pero matapos nito din na rin kami nagkita pa kasi umuwi siya bigla), kami ay naglakad-lakad lang sa UP, tulad ng ginagawa namin ni Angel tuwing mapapadpad kami dun. Pumunta kami sa shopping center, tumingin ng abubot sa mga tindahan ng school supplies, kumain ng green tea and raspberry ice cream (nyummmmmmmm - ganun siya kasarap at P15 per scoop), bumili ako ng sticker ng UP para sa aking nanay nang maidikit naman niya sa kotse habang si Bel ay masaya na sa kanyang address book na pula.

Natapos ang aking araw sa paghatid kay Bel sa sakayan tungo ng Q Ave na MRT, habang ako diretso SM North naman.

Gusto ko na rin umuwi.

Pagdating sa Malolos, ibinili ko sila Mama at Nanay Rosi ng Chow Mein sa Chowking. Namiss ko rin sila matapos ng linggong ito.

Napakahirap ng linggong ito.

Ngayon, kasalukuyang iginagarahe ang kotse. Ibinili nila ako ng goto at toge, na lubusang swak na swak para sa umagang ito.

***

Bata pa ako.

Ito ang tingin ko sa sarili ko. Bata pa naman ako. 22 taong gulang.

Pero sa mga nangyayari ngayon, unti-unting umaalis ang Bata. Hindi kasi siya nararapat sa opisina, kaya pinauuwi siya. Hindi siya nararapat sa mga usapang matanda, kaya tinatakpan niya ang kanyang mga tainga. Hindi siya dapat sumabat, kaya itinitikom niya ang kanyang mga labi. Siya yung nanunood ng Drawn Together at Crank Yankers sa Jack TV, at "nilalabhan" ang pinagbalatan ng mangga matapos na i-masaker ang laman nito.

Ang kanyang mga kamay ay nakahimlay sa ibabaw ng kanyang kandungan, nakataas ang mga palad habang naghihintay ng aakay sa kanya sa mga lugar at pagkakataong ito.

Ako kasi, ang 22 taong gulang na babaing may grado ng 300 sa bawat matang nearsighted, ang OC at pala-butingting sa kung ano na ang dapat gawin at maalam sa mga tungkulin, ang humaharap sa mga tao sa kalsada, sa mga kliyente't kaopisina.

Ako rin ang sumasalo sa problema ng aking mga pamilya at kaibigan, ang sumusubukang magsalita, gumabay o ipagtanggol sila sa kahit anong maaaring makasakit sa kanila.

Ako rin kasi ang nagsasabi sa mga tao na huwag mawalan ng pag-asa kahit Ayan Na. Ewan ko, pero sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko, at sa mga nakakaalam nito, hindi ito isang malaking biro. Naniniwala ako na malalagpasan din naman kasi ang lahat ng ito.

Ako at ang bata ay iisa, ngunit kailangan ko lang munang idiit ang aking daliri sa kanyang palad upang habulin ang mga linyang sala-salabit sa palaruan niya.

Nagtagpo na ang aming mga palad at isasama siya kahit saan ako magpunta.

Where's my ray gun?

2005-06-15T19:05:00.000+08:00

Bagay.

Warning: I am not feeling so peachy keen today. The following may cause undue stress to its readers.

My pet peeves:

Blogs that have entries saying "Oh, I'm not in the mood to write today." -> So don't. Spare the world from your ranting, your petty fondness for Hello Kitty (I could hear you croon, "Ooh, I sooo look like that!"), and your going on and on about how miserable and meaningless your life is because your shoes hurt. The literate public MAY think you are SOMEWHAT stupid;
People who try to change your grammar when you know damn well that your writing and speaking style follows the 15th edition of the Chicago Style Manual (most of the time, pero effort yun ha!);
People correcting your Spanish when you know you used to speak it when you were a kid and they just learned it in college for a measly semester of Foreign Lang[uage];
People who snap back at you when you try to offer them anything, e.g. Kat: "XXX, you can have some of my [food]." XXX: "No thanks, baka mas kailanganin mo pa ng mas malaking piraso ng [food]." And the funny thing after, the person stuffs her face with the food I offered earlier. Talk about eating your own words. Blech.

Ergo, just be nice to one another. I am trying hard as hell to be.

"Kat, is it raining outside?"

2005-06-14T09:56:00.000+08:00

Umiiyak ako ngayon sa isang desisyon na hindi ko naman maaaring labanan.

Kung madaan ka man dito, nalulungkot lang ako.

Wala ito. Magkita na lang tayo sa Biyernes, o sa Sabado, o kung kailan mo man gusto.

Late-night Jitterbug

2005-06-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

Thank you, Marvin. :)

I was thinking of a handful of different things to write tonight: the limits of kakulitan being adorable yet plainly annoying, "visiting stubs" with the SO, wondering where lost ballpens ended up camping in college (thanks to the ramblings of Veet Voojagig in H2G2), and where to plant the great grandchildren of my first ever cactus, a seven-year old spiky bulb which is still alive today, since I have run out of pots around the house.

However, I am currently chatting with my dearest friend Mapi, whom I haven't seen in six months. She is now in UP Law. Astig un e. I hope our pagliliwaliw on Saturday with Bel pushes through. I terribly miss the UP Shopping Center and its venerable toge lumpias.

Now, I am planning my Grand Adventure back to the academe. Ideas resurface, and priorities change. Hopefully, my five-year plan will still push through.

But first, I have to get my eyes lasered.

A ham in Visayas is waiting to be eaten

2005-06-07T12:47:00.000+08:00

Thank you, Lizzie, for the wonderful image.:)

Two of my friends are currently digesting their readings for their first battles with law demigods tonight (goodluck, Mapi and Philip), and another one, the chinese doll, is relishing the last days of her stay at her homeland (hi, Jan) before going back to Lawland.

This makes me wonder when it would be my time to go back and toil at the grand fields of the academe.

Unang una, ang busy busy busy. Work. Even my own mother makes an appointment with me for lunch, and we seldom meet.

Pangalawa, gusto ko sana ng scholarship sa NYU at this particular field. And I haven't gone past the vocabulary aptitude test of the three-inch thick reviewer I bought last year (see above). I think it's obvious na medyo pinaghahandaan ko talaga ito.

Ikatlo, priorities. Enough said.

I hope am not left behind, with everyone else pursuing "higher learning". I still keep reading dissertations on media and pop culture, gender studies, and even Superman. The only thing I could pride myself in doing now is being able to read several books at the same time.

But when will that "time" be available?

I feel like stale ham, too old to be given away, and too tacky to be fed to dogs.

Why Neruda still kicks me in the gut after all these years

2005-06-02T17:48:00.000+08:00

In a season of wet pants and skid-free shoes become an absolute necessity, one cannot help but look up and see why Zeus' tummy is grumbling. Know this for certain: I am neck-deep in rain, mud and muck, and I still love it.

In one of my bloghopping adventures, I happen to come across this particular individual's blog. I have always admired him for his words and his attitude, his lifestyle and his books, but not for his choice of women. I would always be there for him whenever the girlfriend would do something nasty, and I hang my head in utter shame everytime he would berate this person. (Kindly insert music befitting for unrequited love here)

Duwag kasi ako.

Now, he lives in that corner of the world, and I live here. Our lives could never be any more different.

It was then that I knew he broke up with the girlfriend, after their many squabbles and bickerings and pangangaliwa just to get back at each other.

Before I hear oohs and aahs from you guys, you know I am quite happily attached, so shut up.=)

I remember him telling me about Neruda in college, about this particular poem "Tonight I Can Write". I think he cried when he finished reading it.

Shred my heart to miniscule bopis strips, please.

The pain of breakups. Why do these things happen?

currently playing: The Cascades - Rhythm of the Rain

Para kay Sigh, sa kanyang kaarawan

2005-06-02T01:11:00.000+08:00

Gumising ako kanina at nakita kong wala na ang iyong nakakulumpot na hugis tuwing nakikita kita sa umaga na tulog pa rin, sa ilang mga kakaunting beses na nauuna akong nagigising sa iyo.

Maligayang kaarawan sa iyo, isang tunay na kaibigan at katukayo, kaiyakan at katawanan. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang iyong pagiging wonderwall sa akin sa lahat ng mga taon na iyon.

Maraming salamat sa iyong pagtitiwala, kahit kadalasa'y nalilihis ako sa daan ng alam nating Tama. Nakikinig ka pa rin, ngumingiti, at nagbibigay-saya sa aming lahat.

Malapit ka nang mag-aral. Malapit nang magbukas ang karagdagang isang milyong pinto para sa iyo. Malapit na.

Hindi ko alam kung nasaan ka sa panahon ng aking pagsusulat, pero mahal na mahal kita, kaibigan. Salamat sa iyong pagdaan.

Upon wishing I were in Corcovado.

2005-05-31T14:42:00.000+08:00

Earlier, I printed out a map supposedly outlining the ancient plans to Corcovado's otherworldly sewers, with dots outlining aqueducts that brought much needed laughter to winemakers and farmers.

I wish I was spirited to that particular spot upon the first mention of the word/concept/ideology of Corcovado, that it was going to be the place that a million writers and bards were to be shot down from in-betweens of stars, where a blade of grass will be crushed in that particular manner every time a lover walks away from the house that blankets his affections.

This is the place where stone walls foretell secret marriages.

In other words, I'd like to go here, even just through the mp3 playing in my mobile visa.